S.E.S's Shoo revealed she had suicidal thoughts during her hiatus after gambling controversy on TV Chosun's 'Star Documentary - My Way'.

On April 10th, Shoo updated her fans for the first time on TV since her gambling controversy in 2018. In her episode of 'Star Documentary- My Way', she revealed one of the darkest moments in her life due to her gambling addiction. 

Shortly after the controversy, Shoo said she was having suicidal thoughts so she walked home dangerously and carelessly in hopes a passing car would hit her. She said, "I didn't want to have articles reporting that I've committed suicide. I thought it'd be better to have people know that I had a bad accident." 

She continued, "I didn't want those who are left behind to suffer from the guilt and sorrow that I'd committed suicide. So I thought it was better to be in a car accident. I walked with my eyes pinned to the ground. But cars stopped. I thought it was a sign that I should live later."

She said in tears, "I used to think that I had no reasons to live. I know I did that to myself. I hated myself and couldn't come up with a reason to live. At that moment I had tunnel vision. I just thought why am I still alive."

Previously, Shoo was given a sentence of six months in prison, two years probation, and eighty hours of community service for her charges of habitual gambling overseas from August 2016 to May 2018 with a sum that amounted to more than 790 million won (~$646,388 USD). She was then sued for not repaying her gambling debt in May 2019 but that lawsuit was settled in November 2020. 

If you or someone you know is at risk of self-harm or suicide, seek help as soon as possible by contacting agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention in the United States and abroad.