ARMYs were elated, trending "#BTS1stWin" on Twitter, but the joy didn't stop because on May 7th, BTS snagged their 2nd win on Mnet's 'M! Countdown'. But the real joy - not to belittle SBS MTV or Mnet - came when BTS got their 3rd win on KBS's 'Music Bank'. It meant a lot. The moment ARMY and BTS have all been waiting for. The boys' first ever mainstream music show win. 

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But during BTS' speech, they weren't... happy. Sure, J-Hope was smiling, and Rap Monster sounded like he couldn't quite believe it, but as all ARMYs know, that isn't how BTS usually celebrates. Maybe they were just in shock. Or maybe they were just.. being careful. 

During the encore stage, when I assume other fans have mostly trickled out and it was just ARMYs in the audience, BTS got a little more lively and kept Jin's promise of swapping parts. But never mind Suga and J-Hope and Rap Monster singing. Never mind Jungkook killing verses. What ARMYs noticed was V, tight-lipped and quiet. Subdued and looking uncertain. 

Is that V? No. The V we know and love is a weird, 4D alien who goes crazy at everything. It seriously broke my heart to see him so quiet, and I asked myself the same thing I've been asking myself since 3 days ago - do they really deserve this? Even behind the stage away from the public eye, V barely smiles at the camera and avoids it while the other members talk about their gratitude and how they're feeling.

So comes the important question - did V deserve this? I want to say outright that no, of course he didn't. On the surface, of course he didn't. He was just being a fanboy. But it's more complicated than that. 

As every ARMY probably knows by now, BTS is currently caught up in sajaegi controversies. I'm not saying we agree with it - I'm saying we all know it is happening. The situation is that there are 8,000 albums, bought offline in China, that no one can place. There have been attempts at explanations by fans that either are incomplete or use online sales to try to explain things when the albums were offline sales. Some Big Bang fans felt offense because their group ended up ranking below BTS for the day 8,000 albums were sold in terms of album sales by Hanteo. Add onto that 'The Show' and 'M! Countdown' count album sales more than some of the other shows, and... you get why this might be problematic.

So V was already mouthing lyrics to "Loser" before 'M! Countdown' announced BTS's win, which is already a little weird. An idol group singing along to another group's song when he was nominated for first place? Unheard of. And then, when BTS was announced winner, he started being regular V - overdoing the lyrics and being idiotic. Yes, it was cute to us. I thought it was adorable, and we all know V's just weird. But do other fans know that? No. Why would they? 

And V knew all this was happening. He's no longer a rookie - he's been out for almost two years now. Yes, he got caught up in excitement and that's the V we all know and love, but he's still a professional that knew he was being watched by haters who were waiting for anyone in BTS to make a mistake. And they got the chance and jumped for it.

So given the situation, I think he did make a mistake. I don't believe even the slightest that he had any sort of bad intention. He was just being excited and he got caught up in the elation of being #1. But as I said, he still did make a mistake and he's a professional who should have known better. And he knows he made a mistake, which is why he tried to explain himself. 

But does he deserve all this hate? Does BTS deserve to have all their past dug up and framed as rude idols even though they've proven, over and over again, that they are some of the most polite idols in the industry? People sadly highlight the mistakes and overlook all their hard work, and I for one hate that it's happening. I hate that they can't just be themselves after they win. It sucks and it's unfair.

But we're not going to get anywhere complaining. Unless someone can finally find a receipt for the 8,000 albums, this sajaegi controversy won't end anytime soon. Even if we do, it'll probably not end anytime soon. But to borrow a cliche - this, too, shall pass.

I don't think being a fan means you have to cover up every single mistake they made and pretend it never happened. I think it means you accept it happened, you apologize with them, and stay by their side anyway. People who are criticizing them won't stop just because people say "YOU'RE ALL STUPID HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG." I honestly think we'll get farther saying, "He never had bad intentions, but we understand why some people might be upset. But he's not rude at all, and look, he explained himself and we are apologizing together with him."

So I guess I'll end this by telling V - Taehyung, we're all on your side and it hurts us to see you so sad. Smile!