After a series of unofficial statements made both on her behalf and Seo Taiji, actress Lee Ji Ah has finally come forward by releasing her own press report through her official homepage. Her post reads as follows:
"This is Lee Ji Ah. I would like to first apologize for not being able to be honest with who I am towards everyone. For the past 10 days, I've experienced something that was difficult for me to withstand on my own. First, there was no settlement made before I withdrew my lawsuit. There have been so many speculations and rumors these past few days, that I felt it was necessary for me to directly clarify the matter myself. I've mustered the bravery to write this today, but even at this moment, I'm scared as to whether my honest truth will be delivered properly. I was young, but we loved with trust and hope, and I gave up so many things that I should have had at that age. Still, I never once regarded that person's love with anything other than my heart. Before I even knew what the world was all about, I had to be hidden away. The influence that had on my life and the wounds that resulted from it cannot be explained in words. Having to live life through different names, I was always questioning my identity and never sure of who I really was... I couldn't regard my family and friends with the freedom of thought and mind. I was misunderstood as someone that was cold and hard to approach, and I was never able to have a wholesome relationship with anyone. I was pained in that I was not able to live life as who I was. I lost my freedom. The reason why I was not able to live what everyone else would consider a normal life was because I respected that person's decision in not wanting to let anyone see me. I believed that was love, so I left my parents and myself for him. The path I chose, however, wounded me and gave me so much trauma. It made my whole existence meaningless, which I didn't know at the time. I wished for a long time to be able to live as myself, but because I was hidden away for so long, I was also scared of finally showing who I was. In 2006, the reason why everything was put to an end so abruptly was because I wanted to just forget everything and move on to treating my wounds. We believed at the time that that would be the best way in leaving each other without regrets. Unfortunately, reality wasn't so forgiving. As time went on, my wounds grew deeper, and every time the truth and promises that I believed in became broken... They were left as wounds that I could never treat. Although late, I found my path as an actress and tried to live how I wanted, but I could never be completely 'me.' I hid myself and cried and cried over the many rumors and misunderstandings that my opaque past brought about with the public. So many times, I wanted to open my burnt, black heart and scream out that I was having a hard time, that I needed consolation.. but there was nobody I could tell that, or depend on and lean on for support. I lived half of my life under such loneliness. I'm here today because I want my past to be understood.. and to also find the true me. I, too, did not know that the conflict would come to this extent as I filed the lawsuit. I did not have any intention of bringing that person down and truly believed that we would be able to resolve this as harmoniously as possible. But now... I am at an unfortunate situation where my opinions are clashing against someone that I've known for so long about our past. We've worked on designing, styling and other visual jobs together.. and worked together for so many other things.. The memories that we shared together, the pain and effort that we shared together, are now coming back as pain. This conflict is only bringing both of us down, and I now believe that it is meaningless. I decided to withdraw my lawsuit because I predicted that the conflict would only get longer.. and that I would never be able to get back my time and life that will be spent dwelling on this issue in the future. For everyone, for my fans.. I do not want to sacrifice their hearts. Once news of my lawsuit were revealed, it was no longer an issue between the two of us. I was scared... and I spent day after day thinking that my heart would just melt away... I hope that my truth was delivered properly to you.. I want to go back to my position and work hard under the support of my fans... but I keep getting weaker.... and I keep crumbling........... I am just so apologetic towards my parents, and for all of those concerned for me."Source: IS Sports via Naver
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