I have been observing this situation regarding Seungri and the allegations against him. I have done research into the events current and prior. This is not defending his innocence or claiming his guilt. This is more about what people are saying to each other on and off social media. I’m here to put in my two cents on everything. Please read everything before you decide to hate or support what I have to say.
Ten years ago, I was a victim of a rape and a robbery. They were two separate incidences by two different people, both of whom I was very close to and thought were my friends. The robber broke into my house and took everything I owned because he was angry with me. He pointed a loaded gun at my head and threatened to kill me. He was a big guy, tough guy who had been in gangs and was pretty hardcore. I had taken him in, hoping to help him get back on his feet. I expected him to do something like that, but hoped it wouldn’t happen.
My rape story is not something I talk about. Not because I’m afraid, but because I don’t let it define me. I’ve put it in the past and moved on, but it wasn’t easy to do at first. I tell you all this so, when reading this, you are aware that I have been a victim of violent crime.
What I have to say may not do any good. It may not be a world changing event, but I can’t just sit here silently watching these events unfold. I feel I have to speak up for everyone.
My issue is not whether Seungri is guilty or innocent. My issue is how we are treating each other in regards to everything. I’m finding a lot of hate not just for Seungri but for each other and that saddens me deeply. We are all human beings. We are all entitled to our opinions and beliefs, but we need to respect each other. This world has enough hate in it, surrounding it… we need more love and respect for each other, even as just a fellow human being.
I am a Bigbang fan. Seungri was never my number one favorite, but I found him to be very entertaining and funny. I will reveal my two favorites later. I’m in no way, however, going to be partial to supporters. I’m also not going to be partial to haters. I’m going to be objective and fair in everything I say.
As an American citizen, when all this came about, my instant thought was, “Okay, first I need some hardcore evidence showing me that this is indeed legitimate.” Most people tend to think that way. Confirm the texts are real. Confirm the group chat was real. Once that’s done, then confirm that he was, without a doubt, an active participant. But, while researching and investigating, I stayed quiet. I sat back and watched as people would flood his Instagram with comments, more so after his retirement announcement. “No, oppa, don’t leave us. We love you.” “We support you. V.I.P. forever.” Those kinds of comments made me smile. Here’s why. I’m not someone that judges anyone for anything. I believe in forgiveness and second chances. I thought it was a beautiful thing that these fans wanted so badly to see the very best in him, even amidst everything that was going on. They believe in him. Regardless of how you feel about him, to me, that was amazing. If you are a hater, think of it like this. You hate what he supposedly did, right? Well, if he is guilty, and he does his time in jail and gets out a changed man for the better, but is still hated and labeled a bad person, how is that going to help him stay a better person? He is going to start believing he is still a horrible person. If you forever label someone as such, no matter how much they change, they start believing they really are just a bad person and… well, why bother trying to be a better person? No one believes that I am. So, why try? Understand my point here? I hope so.
Now, my instant thought was not that the supporters were victim shaming, as some people claim. Victim shaming is defined as putting the blame on the wrong person. In those two specific examples of comments, those were not victim shaming comments. But other comments started coming in as well. “I hope you rot in hell, Seungri.” “I hope you die and take your fans with you, Seungri.” Those kind of comments really bothered me. As someone who has been a victim, I can honestly say, I harbor no hate for anyone in this world. I believe people can change if they want. I know they can. I have seen it first hand many times. I never want to believe that just because they did wrong, regardless of how wrong, that they can’t come back from it as a better person. That’s my idea of supporting him. And yes, I do support him in that regard. I do not wish him dead. I do not wish anyone dead. You don’t have to like him or even support him, but never wish anyone dead. But, then other comments came, attacking the haters. Supporters throwing their own nasty words at anyone who had anything bad to say about their oppa.
It’s getting ridiculous on both ends. Supporters, Seungri and the others involved are the only ones that need to do jail time, if found guilty. Not the haters, just because you don’t like their opinion. They see themselves as sticking up for the victims, while the supporters are victim shaming and not sensitive enough to the victims, and I agree. Some supporters are saying some pretty nasty things about the victims. I see a lot wrong from both sides. Haters and supporters a like need to back off from each other, look at the FACTS. Not the facts as you want to see them, but the facts as they are. Have an open mind about everything and be more understanding of each other’s point of view. Also, remember, things aren’t always as they appear. In situations like this, be prepared for any outcome. Don’t automatically assume anything, for either side.
Now, as far as the victims go… this is a sensitive subject, which is why I remind you that I have been a victim of more than one violent crime. As a woman who has been raped, I have never revealed his name to anyone. I never reported him. Not because I was scared, but because I was angry and wanted to handle it myself. Victim shaming was not something I even considered or was scared of. I, myself, do not like referring to myself as a victim, nor do I like referring to myself as a survivor. I don’t refer to myself as anything regarding those situations I’ve been through because I don’t want them defining me in any way. For a long time I harbored hate, regret, anger… it led me to suicide. I held everything in, lashed out at everyone and, eventually, ended up in the hospital because my father walked in on me holding his loaded gun up to my head, ready to blow my brains out. All because I was angry about what happened to me and hated them for what they did. I also hated myself. In the hospital, I had counseling and group therapy. The best thing I learned there was to let go of my hate and anger at them and myself and to forgive all parties involved. Once I could forgive and let go of that hate and anger, I could fill myself up with positive things. I saw the world in a very different light. I was happy again and smiling. I know it sounds corny, but it’s very true. I say all that to say, I’ve seen a lot of comments stating things like, “What about the victims? He destroyed their lives.” “Oh, poor victims.” I do agree that they are victims and that should have never happened to them, but because it did happen to them, the only reason it’s destroying their lives is because they are letting it. The victims don’t need pity. I never wanted pity. I wanted someone to help me be strong, not sit there and say “Oh you poor thing.” It’s on them where they go from here and how they handle their lives. They need support. They need to get the proper help, yes. But, it's up to them to take control and not let the situation control them. I’m not blaming them for what happened. I don’t think they’re liars. But, I do think we need to have a better understanding of how they want to be viewed and seen. I never wanted to be seen as a victim. Just keep that in mind when you talk about them.
Referring back to the comments… I feel we all really need to evaluate ourselves before we start typing that comment to someone we really know nothing about. We don’t need to be shaming each other and pointing the finger at each other. Fans need to realize, if he did something wrong, he should suffer the consequences. Haters need to understand that the supporters, whether they realize it or not, are just lashing out at them because they are hurting, even the ones that support him blindly are still hurt. Supporters, it's not right to lash out at haters just because you're hurting. You have no idea just how powerful your words are to each other. T.O.P. and Daesung are my two favorites. I know they both got a lot of hate back in the day for their situations and look what happened. Whether you’re a fan or not, it’s not our place to take another life. Your words to anyone can be just as bad as physically stabbing or shooting them in the heart. Be very careful what you say to each other fans and haters alike. Be careful what you say about the victims and be careful what you say about Seungri. Human life is precious and fragile and we take it for granted every day. Don’t be so quick to judge each other and hate on each other. Treat each other with kindness and respect. Forgive the wrong doing of others. Do all of this even if you don’t think they are deserving. You will find you will be a lot happier living that way. Life is too short to hold onto hate and anger.
Now for my final thought. This is what I have to say about Seungri himself. Do I want him to be innocent? Of course. Am I blinded to the facts? Of course not. But, again, as an American, I have to believe innocent until proven guilty. It may look bad for him right now, but we have no idea how all of this will completely unfold. Even if he is guilty, I will continue to support him in the sense of learning from this and changing his ways to become a better person. I will forgive him, pray for him and hope he sees the error of his ways and comes back a changed man. There have been many stories of murderers, serial killers, rapists, who have been forgiven by their victims or by the families of victims. If they can do that, then surely we can forgive Seungri, if guilty, for his wrong doing. I’m not a Bible thumper but I have a religious background. I’m by no means a hardcore Christian. I smoke cigarettes, I curse, I occasionally drink alcohol, I don’t go to church, but I do beleive in the basic concept of what Christianity is all about. Love and forgiveness. If you know the Bible, then you know that it says there is no sin that is unforgivable, except one. That one unforgivable sin is denying God. That means that anything else is forgivable. It also says that no one sin is greater than another. We are not perfect beings. We all sin. In they eyes of God, a little white lie is just as big of a sin as murder. If you don’t believe in God, that’s fine. I don’t care what your beliefs are. My point is Seungri's actions, if guilty, are forgivable by all of us. It’s not our place to condemn him to hell or death. It’s not our place to judge. That’s between him and his maker. It is our place to be decent human beings to one another, love and forgive each other. Even if, it’s undeserving in your eyes. “Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone.”
I end this by urging all of you to take a step back from social media, from each other and the situation. Rethink everything through and try to see things from all sides, that being the victims, the haters, the Supporters and Seungri's. Put yourself in all of their shoes and figure out, in all aspects how you would want to be treated and then act on it. In your eyes, if you’re a hater, Seungri and his supporting fans may not deserve it. Do it anyway. You may surprise yourself. Open your eyes to a new way of thinking. It doesn’t mean you have to support or hate him. It just may change how you respond to each other for the better. I ask that you don’t hate on me, as I tried very hard to not disrespect anyone on any side in any of this. I tried to place myself in everyone’s shoes throughout all of this. If I seemed one sided, I do apologize. It was not intentional. I did my very best to stay impartial. I love all of you and respect each and every one of your view points.