PERIOD! 😍

he was raised right and truly has a good heart

lol  height above average, body proportions above average, hand size above average, facial symmetry above average, shape of features above average and you still out here saying "average"

just say youre jealous and go

dude i firmly believe that you should fuck off and never appear on akp again

no, i can tell you exactly what you are

a liar

since youre so much better than me stop appearing in front of me then. go find someone of your own lofty level to talk to and pretend i dont exist. i'd be perfectly happy with that and so you would you. so dont appear again, if you do i'm just going to ignore you

i've tried every tactic with you but your basic core fiber is just liar drama queen attention whore and frankly i'm so over it

the fuck on kirsty. whatever you want from me, youre not getting it. i've tried to be nice to you on numerous occasions but YOU are the one who always has to say fucked up shit and ruin it. dont put it on me. this is a public site not a school where youre forced to talk to me. who am i to you? no one. we have 0 relationship. i'm just another user here. you don't have to say anything to me. no ones forcing you. there are tons of people who come here and never interact with me. i suggest you become one of them.

whew! i took a nice looooooooooong nap. i'm talking 6 hours long. but i'm back kirsty kween! lol

omg you have shudder in the uk? that is AWESOME!!! what have you been watching? I just watched Channel Zero and I absolutely loved it. I binged whole seasons in one day. I lost my shit so many times. the imagery was so nice. I think its one of the best horror tv shows we've had in a long time. People seem to try to make horror shows often but they always miss the mark. Either the writing is terrible or the story isn't scary at all or the production is cheap and distracting. But with Channel Zero I felt that everything was top notch. i really want more shows like that. right now i'm watching hell house llc. its a trilogy so its gonna keep me busy for a bit. then i'm going to watch friday the 13th since they just got a bunch of them and its a great way to kick off my nostalgia. What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? Dont laugh but for me its Ju On, the japanese version of The Grudge. I still remember when I saw it in the theater by myself and I walked out terrified. lol I didn't sleep for a week. Your name came from Hellraiser? OMG!!!! I never would have guessed that.

Well Kirsty I know that you have some kind of mistaken identity situation with me and this makes you have these issues that you long to work out but my take on it is still the same. moving on isn't something we do for other people, its something we do for ourselves. so that we can have peace and focus our attention on what we want to focus it on. 

a few years ago i asked a friend "why should i be nicer to people than they are to me? why should i turn the other cheek? why should i pretend like the way they behaved isn't problematic? what makes other people better than me, that i should give them better treatment than i receive?" he had no answer for that. but over these years i've figured out the answer to why i should do that. I I should do it not for them but for myself. so that i dont have to keep forcing myself into a role that i dont want to play out. so that someone else's choices and behaviors dont have to keep affecting me.  sometimes someone does something that we dont like and we just never let it go so then as time passes by we bring it up and we bring it up and we bring it up and we bring it up and we bring it up - and what happens? the past stays in the present because we keep it alive. we keep making it a present reality long after its over. 

i had a best friend for several years and she got divorced a bit ago. when i talked to her ex husband he said that she just keeps bringing up the past. he could never move forward or improve anything with her because she would always take things right back to the past. and i realized that....that behavior is toxic. and i dont want to be that type of person. 

now, i accept that your choices are yours and you will make them your way, but this is my view on it. none of us are perfect. we all do things that other people perceive as hurtful and we all get hurt by others too. we're not always gonna get some big apology for it, or any at all, and even if we did it wouldn't change anything. it would not change what happened in the past. nothing will ever change that. thats why i think the past just needs to be accepted.

one last thing, if someone is doing something that you think is super harmful but you keep saying "this is funny, this doesn't bother me, i dont care, i dont take you seriously," then you dont really have a right to later go to someone and say "youre a horrible person, you really hurt me for a long time and you need to apologize." You should have been truthful at the time. I had to learn this lesson the hard way because i have a tendency of acting stronger than i really am. due to this i never used to ask others for help, i never used to expose my insecurities, i never used to be truthful about my feelings, and when people hurt me i would not tell them. i would act like it was nothing and i wasn't bothered, then behind their backs i would cry, be hurt, drag them to anyone who would listen, try to get revenge, make the situation worse, create enemies, burn bridges, act like a drama queen, create irreparable damage and still play victim. it wasn't until maybe a year ago that i stopped acting like someone that i am not and began acting like myself. one day my friend was going too far with me and i told my friend "listen i know you think i'm some tough ride or die bitch, but i'm actually a cry in a corner alone bitch so you need to go a lot easier on me than this." She died laughing at how i put it, but she UNDERSTOOD ME BETTER. she understood that i have limits. it improved the way we related from then on. and i think thats how you have to communicate with people - in a way that's actually HONEST. with yourself, AND with them. there's a lot of understanding you can get from people if youre willing to genuinely ask for it. I lived a lot of my life thinking people were just mean and hostile and unwilling to care about or understand me. but i realized that a major factor in that is that i was unwilling to SHOW THEM THE REAL ME. 
now, having said all of that i have a bag of hot cheetos with lime that are calling my name lol

I didnt know you like horror. that's my favorite genre. i feel like i really have seen every horror movie but no, every time i look i keep finding new ones. right now i have a shudder account which is just for streaming horror movies and tv (you may not have this in the uk but you probably have something equivalent) and I have seen so many new things. Most of it was really good, some of it was laughably bad and some was just interesting. you know, the kind of movie that doesn't really break any new ground but its good enough to entertain for a couple hours. then also i plan to rewatch the horror movies i was afraid of as a child. i think it will be interesting to watch them now, since i have a 100% tolerance built to horror movies. i'll probably think they're like comedies now. but back when i was a kid these movies kept up at night for days. i used to be such a fraidy cat.

i also started gaming again and reconnected with some old hobbies. i'm watching all the things on my list that i never got around to and folllowing new people on youtube. so i'm hanging in there pretty well overall.

i get what you mean about small talk being a lot less in depth than it is here. here, you never know what a stranger or very new acquaintance might ask. so for me, i have prepared a lot of ways of dodging certain questions i dont want to answer lol I dont want to make people feel bad for being curious but i also dont want to tell my life story to strangers. so i think i tned to find a good balance.

well i never mentioned forgiveness because that's a whole other topic and its a big topic. honestly, i'm not sure if i even believe in forgiveness or if i practice it myself at all. i think that forgiveness is saying that what someone did or said was 'okay.' and maybe it wasnt okay and its never gonna be. and thats fine. but i think that 'moving on' is about gaining perspective. its about realizing that a lot of things just aren't a big deal. and its also about realizing that sometimes people are never going to be who we want them to be. and i think that's where i am in all my relationships across the board. i think that for most of 2018-2020 i spent a lot of time being upset that people weren't treating me how i wanted them to and they werent being who i wanted them to be. it wasn't until very recently that i accepted that people who are who they are and i need to accept their limitations. i can either choose to never talk to them and completely avoid them or i can interact with them fully accepting how they are and how they behave. but that torturous middle ground of thinking one day they're going to be different or they're going to start thinking about my feelings etc....thats pointless. theyre not. in their eyes they will always be an angel and i'll always be a devil because thats the way they need it to be. they're incapable of seeing how they contribute to any of the problems in how we communicate or any of the conflicts we got into. everything is always someone elses fault because they're perfect and they cannot be challenged in any way or they will flip the fuck out. so once i realized that, i was able to just relax in all my interactions with other people. because i see it like this....i am not about to let someone else get me off my square. my square is my little figurative happy place i'm going to stay in my happy place no matter what. i will interact with people on my own terms and if i really truly find them truly totally unpalatable i will not engage them at all. but if i dont mind them then they can come around. its no big deal.

i could say all the things you just said about how hurtful and unforgivable other people have been to me and how i need to hold onto my grudges cause its the right thing to do. and what would that solve? Nothing. it would just paint me as a victim - someone that gets acted upon by others in situations while being helpless, and thats not me. thats not who i want to be. i want to be the person who chooses how i feel about things rather than complaining that some other person's words or actions made me feel some type of way.

i know everything i said probably makes no sense but let me sum it up easily like this: in 2020 i am not afraid of anyone. i'm not mad at anyone, i'm not avoiding anyone. not anymore. because i've realized that the only reality that really matters is mine. as long as i like me, everything else is a-ok.

ha! you admit it! the boredom almost has everyone ready to crack. personally i'm not having it THAT hard since I mostly work from home so i'm not really having too much of a shock but even i would like to leave the house and especially would enjoy leaving the house without fearing for my fucking life. i have been staying sane by making things and then when i need a break i watch concerts and livestreams. this weekend i'm getting shitfaced though. i bought a HUGE bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey, because thats how I roll 😂 I tell you when I get out of quarantine i will never take this city for granted again. i'm gonna go EVERYWHERE and i'm not gonna say its too much trouble or its too cold or i dont wanna deal with parking or trains. i'm gonnna enjoy life to the fullest and get lots of sunshine and exercise.

kirsty kirsty kirstypoo....even if i did know what you were talking about, and i dont, do you know what that sounds like? it sounds an awful lot like dredging up the past. you know, there comes a point in time where you have to let things go - whether they are things that happened, things that were said, things that were lost, etc. i learned this recently. sometimes you hold onto things so tightly because you think they matter soooooo much, then something happens that makes you realize none of the stuff that you cared about so much for so long was even important at all.

I see. my understanding is that the south is more like london area and the north is more like manchester etc kinda like how in my state the south is more big city and the north is more suburban. not the same but similar. theyre also quite far apart so the cultures are different

Well eonnie, you find everything about me cringe to let you tell it 😂 yet here you are just the same so I figured we might as well chat. Its not ME who comes looking for YOU is it? No. Its always you coming to me. So dont play this "youre just trying to lure me into friendship on porpoise" game. Its obvious whats really going on here. Youre just bored. Youre in quarantine and youre bored lol That's why you appear on my comments. And you know what? That's fine. Why not? Not everyone we talk to is gonna turn out to be a great person and become our best friend. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. You suspect all these deep motives but they're not there. When I go to the store or ride the train I talk to all kinds of people and it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean I want to become their lifelong best friend and attend their family barbecues. (I mean if they invite me I'll go and eat but thats not the point.) It means I'm just passing time. When I chat with cashiers I ask them about themselves and they ask about me. I dont think its out of the ordinary. But like I said, I respect your privacy. Now, I'm gonna go write a fanfic about Jungkook becoming president and me getting hired as his intern. lol (yeah i know, you think that's cringe)

Sis, I'm pretty sure all current slang trickled down from the Kardashians and/or Cardi B and their slang came from rupaul's drag race. so basically it started with the drag queens then went to second rate reality stars/rappers, then onto tik tok, then onto youtube, then onto twitter, then back to youtube, and then to that chick who plays Eleven on Strangers Things, and ultimately into my vocab. so.....you've told me nothing new there. I mean, the minute someone says "dont use that word cause you sound like a drag queen" someone of a high status starts using the same words/phrases and spreading it even further. so just give in. its not going away. we say this stuff because its funny

okay i mean you dont have to tell me. if your diet is top secret and you just cant part with the salacious details of tea time i can respect that. i was just perving on idols like i normally do and minding my own business when you came along wanting a chat, so i will go back to doing exactly what i normally do.

ooh i just realized - tea time comes after lunch!

so then tea is what we call dinner...

i always thought tea came before lunch. like brunch lol

i always talk like this. i guess i spend too much time on twitter

but wait, what did you have for tea?

i'm glad you have red skin potato salad because if not that would make me very sad. then i would have to mail you red potatoes and that could get costly

yess drag me. point out all my flaws. throw me in the trash kween!

make me cry! snap me like a dry twig! i'm here for it!

by the way, what are you having for lunch today sis? i'm thinking i'm gonna go with a roast beef sandwich on rye with some potato salad. but not just any potato salad, its the kind with the red skin. do you have that in england?

you must be right eonnie, i mean youre right about everything

but i just want to point out one thing - do you see that waterfall behind them in this photo? they know whats up! lmfao

what i cant seem to figure out about you is how you cant seem to grasp the fact that i am not you. i do a LOT of things you wouldn't do

and i always will

like right now i'm about to go fantasaize that kang daniel breaks up with jiho or whatever her name is and comes to me to be consoled lmfao dont worry daniel, i'll take care of that broken heart....among other things 😚

you know eonnie, you can respect someone professionally and as a person yet still want to smash them into oblivion. the two feelings aren't mutually exclusive

youre right, i'm fucking FAMISHEd

i saw a sign a bit ago that said "kang daniel behind" and my mind went to a dark place 😂

youre right its a bit crass so you should probably avert your eyes eonnie. stay pure and innocent. god knows what i might say next

i mean i was thinking why stop at these two? I bet Daniel still has Minhyun's phone number, so why not invite him to the party? I've been wanting to get that for AGES (and Yoon Jisung too. Not to mention Zico is friends with the ever dishy Jaehyo who is fine AF)

Why because I want them to pound me like a bowl of dough? I think thats pretty natural. It'd be weirder if I didnt want that

Besides, its National Horny Day, eonnie. 😆If I cant say it today then when?

sorry but even just seeing zico alone makes my undies disintegrate but zico AND kang daniel? its like fucking niagara falls over here 😂

lol i see jaehyun

the whole thing looks like kihyun

but i thought you were a bts fan? or at least not against them?

Whoa, thats a lot of assumptions.