Following his successful return to acting through the Netflix series 'Squid Game 2', musician/actor T.O.P sat down for a roundtable interview with media outlets, his first media interview in 11 years.
Previously in 2016, T.O.P received a probationary sentence of 2 years after being found guilty of illegal drug use. Afterward, in February of 2022, he left his group Big Bang and parted ways with his debut label, YG Entertainment. Now, through his recent interview, the musician/actor addressed the numerous unanswered questions and controversies surrounding him for the first time.
He began, "In my twenties, I received more love than I deserved and enjoyed unimaginable fame and stardom, but I also experienced downfall and ruin for the first time in my life. It pushed me into inescapably dark times. I was broken, I didn't have the strength to put myself back together, and just wanted to give up on everything."
Regarding the SNS conflict between him and some of his fans, T.O.P explained, "Even though I was going through such dark times, there were some fans who said they were waiting for me to return to Big Bang. It hurt to see, and at the time, I made reckless decisions. I said some foolish words, and I am regretting them to this day... Of course, this is an excuse, but I was in a really dark place at the time, like I'd never experienced before. I was out of my mind. There were some people who genuinely cheered for me, but I said some very hurtful things to them. I regret what I did, and I believe that I need to bear the regret for the rest of my life."
When asked about his former team Big Bang, T.O.P stated, "I severely hurt the image of Big Bang and my former agency through my mistakes and poor decisions. I made the decision to leave because I did not want to hurt the group any further. It was unbearable to think that my mistakes, and the consequences which I need to endure on my own, would hurt the other members. I wanted to make it clear my reason for leaving, but I did not have the channel to do so."
He continued, "'Still Life' was my last project as Big Bang before my contract expiration, so I gave my best and final effort for that project. I left the company after that, but there are fans who still wish to see me returning to the group. I'm not angry at them, but it's just too painful for me to see. I saw fans posting photos, tagging me and the other members, while I was reeling with guilt for my mistakes. So I responded to them, but my way of response was incorrect. Once again, I apologize for my actions. I was foolish."
T.O.P then declined from answering any questions directly involving the other Big Bang members. "I believe that it would be careless for me to directly mention others who are not present," he answered, when asked if he had discussed his departure from Big Bang with the other members, "I do not remember exactly when it happened, but I am not maintaining any contact with any of the members as of now."
Does T.O.P wish to return to Big Bang one day? "It would be shameful for me to do so. I already decided long ago that I did not want to hurt the group's image anymore, and that has not changed. I do not blame others for criticizing me. The team and I received so much unimaginable love and praise in our twenties, and the criticism that followed is also a part of that," the musician/actor relayed, making it clear that he has no plans to re-join his former group.
Finally, T.O.P revealed, "I think of it as my responsibility to make up for all of the mistakes that I made to those fans who are still waiting for me. I cannot go too much into detail, but I am hoping to release an album soon. I spent the last 7 years as an outcast from society, living in my studio and working on music. Being in front of the mic, making music, was the only time I felt like I could breathe. I made music to live. There are way too many songs to count, and I think of it as my responsibility to share some of them with my fans who still support me."
He also promised, "I know it may not be appropriate for me to say this, but I think that so many of the misunderstandings and the conflict arose because I did not make it clear that I left Big Bang out of regret and guilt. I want to take this opportunity to assure that the same mistakes and misunderstandings will not happen again."
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